They were, in a word, disreputable. Originally a gaudy shade of salmon, they had faded to a baby pink, with paint stains and tiny holes completing the degradation. And yet our dear friend Chris Gorsuch continued to wear them. They provoked howls of protest every time he wore them in public, yet he persisted. Finally, during the summer of 1998, June Dollar could stand them no more. She stole them from Chris's dresser drawer while he was out of town.

Fast-forward to December 31, 1998. June brought the shorts to Eric Hurst's annual New Year's Eve party. They were highly perfumed with Chanel no. 5. wrapped as a gift and placed in the infamous "white elephant exchange." The lucky recipient was Amber Phillips. Despite Chris's best efforts, he was not able to regain his own property. Most thought this was thankfully the last we'd see of these shorts, but Amber had a different idea. Amber took it upon herself to paint hearts and swirls on the shorts with glitter paint to "add" to it's appeal, and she brought them back, wrapped up for the 1999 gift exchange.

Dale felt that the shorts were "Grand" but that they needed more improvement, thus started a tradition. By the time the 2000 White Elephant gift exchange rolled around, the shorts had been decorated with tassels, fringe and dollar bills (think of a stripper costume!). Sometime around this point Chris decided that he no longer wanted to wear the shorts (there has been some supposition that he would just not fit into them any more.)

For new years 2000, the tradition was firmly established, the shorts were stolen and re-stolen. Adam Bennett thought he had safely scored the shorts, only to have Harry Bleattler snatch them from under his hot fingers. It was on this night Harry received the shorts. So Harry began the new year with this prize in his possession. Alas, he didn't have time to add to the decorations, as he was busily finishing his PhD dissertation. And in the depths of his graduate student poverty, he removed the dollar bills from the shorts in order to buy cigarettes.

But by New Year's Eve, 2001, Harry had managed to pay back some of the loan only now do we realize it's a few bills short of a full money bag, and thankfully the shorts were once again brought to the party.

Brandon Ackermann won in 2001, being the youngest recipient thus far. A dancer, Brandon decided that the shorts needed the addition of a leotard, decorated again in glittery paint with the initials of the original owner.

The next winner, in 2002, were Greg Cohen. He and his wife (Sarah) decided to bring the shorts prank to a new level of silliness by bringing about this web site. After all, Chris had made the fatal error of saying, "Well after this, there's nothing more you can do to embarrass me."

Think again Chris.

I think next year the Shorts need to have a vacation. Perhapse travel will broden their soul, or at least their seat.